Shades Of June
by writersblockxoxoxo
Summary: Luke had never been one to tell his emotions, Lorelai had always let her pride get in the way but the day that they were supposed to become man and wife is here and her pride and his emotions are the last things on their minds.


`````````Hey everybody thank you for reading. I hope this story doesnt dissapoint. I recently read through my other stories trying to find some inspiration for them and have come up with none. I also realized that I portrayed the characters all wrong, and that was my problem. So heres a story that I've been dying to write. Warning this isnt going to be a feel good make your heart fill with joy fanfiction. Please Review and most importantly I dont own any of the characters all rights to Amy Sherman Palladino.

She felt an odd tingleing in her body as she awoke to a start . A cold chill over came her even though it was June. She stood up and glanced at the clock 3:24, the red letters gleamed. She tore the covers off of her bed, threw the pillows as far away from her as possible and sat back in the middle of her bed. "Don't do it Lorelai" she said over and over in her head but it didnt stop the tears. She couldnt stop her tears because today was supposed to be the happiest day of her life, the day she was going to give herself to the only man who she ever truely loved who understood not only where she had been but also where she wanted to be 10 years down the road, the man who symbolized her middle and her end. But today was not the happiest day of her life, it may have been her worst, because today was the day that she would silenty weep for the only thing she's ever truely wanted and the only thing that has ever truely hurt her at her core. Because today is June 3rd and she was not becoming Mrs. Danes the only last name she would sacrafice her own for.

His eyes opened, it didnt feel like 5:00 already. He rubbed his head and sighed. He didnt know what he was going to do with himself today, he told Caesar to run the diner, he needed a day off. The truth was he couldnt work today, today was supposed to be the day he married the only woman he ever loved. He peeled back the covers and made himself a glass of water and drank it in one gulp. He looked at the clock 4:00 AM it read, he sat back down in his bed. Everything about her consumed his mind , he bent down underneath his bed and picked up the newspaper article anouncing their engagement. She never knew it but he saw it in the paper. He never wanted to say anything because he felt bad enough for canceling the wedding. She looked beautiful and happy in the picture, he forgot what a truely happy Lorelai looked like. During the last 6 months of their relationship her smile never reached her eyes, her laughs were always forced and thoughts were always distant. "Damnit" Luke cursed under his breath because for the first time Luke was finally starting to see his part in the downfall of his relationship.

She wanted to lye in her bed all day, to sob and mope and feel sorry for herself but that wasnt Lorelai Gilmore and that is exactly what she refused to become, especially over a man. She got dressed and set out for a walk, she needed fresh air she didnt care that it was 4:00 in the morning.

He couldnt take the tiny space of his apartment, he wanted to yell at the universe for working together to scew up his life. He was sick of being practical loner Luke, he needed to get away from everything. He needed to experiance the outdoors. He set off for a walk.

The tears had subsided but the thoughts had not, looking at the gazebo made her think of the isle that she would've walked down if that little girl hadnt come into his life and ruined everything. As much as she knew not to blame April she couldnt help but to. She would never tell anyone of the jeolously she had of not only of April but Anna. Anna gave him the exact thing that Lorelai had dreamed of giving him first. His first child. And not only his first child, but his first daughter. Something that Lorelai knew would be very special to Luke oneday, knowing his protective nature. She wanted to be the one to give him his first little girl, with shining blue eyes and curly dark hair, who would have herself wrapped around his finger. Her gut clenched just thinking about it. The truth is that even though she was upset he kept it to himself about the existance of his daughter she was more upset by her actual existance than of him keeping it from her. But that was something no one could ever know, not even Rory. It was when the tears were threatening to come through and she was right in the middle of the gazebo that she saw him exiting the diner.

He closed the door to his diner not even bothering to lock it. He didnt know where to go or what to do. He saw a figure by the gazebo sitting down and he knew it was Lorelai. His heart skipped a beat, he was suddenly nervous but the aching in his heart to drink her in and overcame his rationale. He made his way to the gazebo and paused before sitting.

"Hi" he said as if he was holding his breath

"Hi" she copied. He took a seat neXt to her.

Both sat in silence neither daring to look at the other. When the silence became unbearable Luke cleared his throat "So um hows Rory"

"She's great, Yale agrees with her"

"Are her and Logan...?"

"Yeah their still together, better than ever" Lorelai commented sadly

Luke just nodded the awkward silence continued

"We were supposed to get married today" Lorelai blurted She immediatly put her hand over her mouth"That was innapropriate and blunt, I'm so sorry" Lorelai finished horrified

Luke sat silently without saying a word. Lorelai was clearly embarrassed and decided it was best to keep some pride and walk away. Right before she was out of Luke's reach he grabbed her hand pulling her back down to sit on the gazebo.

"I always pictured us getting married by this gazebo with the whole crazy town and everything" Luke commented

"Really?" Lorelai asked suprised

"Maybe if things things hadnt of gotten so screwed up you'd be walking down the isle a few hours from now" Luke commented

"Yeah maybe" Lorelai said a tad bit hopeful that Luke seemed to be thinking of the future he lost

"Yeah but it doesnt matter now I mean your with Christopher, I have April, and a date with a swim instructor next week, my life seems to be looking up" Luke said honestly

"Thats great" Lorelai said trying to hide the biterness and forced a weak smile.

"How is old Christopher doing?" Luke asked with resentment dripping from his voice

"I dont know, I havent talked to him since..." Lorelai trailed off reffering to that night

"Ah, I see, well I hope it was worth it" Luke said anger rising in his voice

"Worth what?" Lorelai baited

Luke shook his head clearly not wanting to say what he was referring to

"worth what?" Lorelai continued anger rising again

"Worth ending our relationship" Luke shouted

Lorelai felt like she had been slapped in the face, all the anger that she felt towards Luke was coming.

"You fucking ass, this is all your fault, you left me out, you cared more about her than me, I loved you, I let you postpone the wedding of my dreams, I let you run the whole show I just wanted to feel included, but some 12 year old who let me mention doenst even look like you comes in and tells you your her father and you dont even tell me, you lied to me. Everyday that you let go by you lied to me. You betrayed me and I forgave you Luke. I went through 6 months of hell, I was miserable it was all over my face you didnt care, Maybe its my fault for not saying anything but it was all over my face you just didnt pay attention, I was all in ok? I was all in and you where half way out the door" Lorelai screamed but her voice hit a note and the last line came out as a sob

"What did you want me to do huh? My life cant revolve around you every second of every day. I did what I thought was best" Luke screamed

"You did what was best for you" Lorelai whispered

"And so did you, the night you went to Christopher you did what was better for you, you took the easy way out, you know he loves you he would welcome you with open arms not giving a shit where you had been, you made the decision to go there"

"Was I supposed to stay miserable, I told you in Martha's Vineyard I was upset you knew how I was feeling, I came to you that night wanting to commit and you said never"

"Thats not fair, I was caught off guard that night, I loved you" Luke said his voice thick with emotion

"You sure as hell didnt love me enough or we wouldnt be where we are" Lorelai whispered

"So what now, we go back to avoiding eachother?" Luke asked annoyance in his tone

"Why fix whats so overly broken it hurts more to even try to glue it back together than it does to be broken? Were just not meant to be together I guess" Lorelai stated emotionaless

Luke sighed and put his hand over his face

"You need closere, I'm burning the wedding dress tonight, you should do it with me maybe burn the horoscope or something" Lorelai suggested

"Thats the dress?" Luke asked as Lorelai pulled it out of her closset

"The infamous one" Lorelai said with nostalgia

"Try it on" Luke said eyeing the dress

"No, I'm burning it" Lorelai said with a shake of her head

"Hey if it wasnt for me you would be walking down the isle today wearing it, I want to see you in that dress I dont care if it 4:00 in the morning"

Fine Lorelai muttered and pulled her jeans down, she pulled her shirt over her head and was about to unzip the dress and put it on but an alarming voice from Luke stopped her

"Stop" he said panick stricken. His eyes were glued to her stomach

Lorelai visably gulped

"Your pregnant" Luke muttered

When Lorelai didnt say anything Luke finally spoke again

"And its mine, the babies mine isnt it?" he asked softly

Lorelai nodded

To be continued please tell me what you guys thought by reviewwwwinggggggggggg!


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